I have had two dream this week that I got engaged to someone, but didn’t really want to marry them. The first one was with a man that I am unfamiliar with in my waking life. He was very nice, but it seemed that this was more to help him out and I just casually agreed because I did not see it as a big deal. I later became anxious as the date got closer and knew it was not right for me. It seemed like I was going to end the engagement and not go through with it, but I woke up.
The second dream was one of my former classmates, whom I am actually find very repulsive (and expressed this in my dream in private). I got engaged to him with no really celebration and we agreed we would get married within a couple weeks of our engagement. We both said we would look into costs separately for the ceremony (money was a concern) and then we would come back together to finalize the date.
I immediately felt in my gut this was wrong and began making excuses for why I could not do the research to make the wedding happen. knew I had to end it, but the dream transitioned to another that I do not remember the details of.
About me- I am a 32 y/o female. Lately, I have had a lot of anxiety about my abilities to be successful or good enough. I am also new to NYC, finishing my master thesis, trying to find a job and manage dating someone who I have been seeing for 5 months (since I moved here). I occasionally wonder If I can keep up/balance my thesis work, finding a career in a really competitive city, and this new life with him.
Perhaps this mean that I am settling in some way? Or addressing aspects of my self that I don’t like or don’t want to own?