Nightmare dream about horses

Josie or Cecelea asked 12 months ago

Okay guys, let’s start the day with what was basically a nightmare 🙂
I’ve been around horses almost all my life, so I commonly have dreams about them, but this one was different, and all my dreams are in the third person, even if I’m in them.
My five-year-old mare, Santana, was with me in this dream.

It mainly took place in a large, rodeo arena setting, with two openings on each side. It started okay, great even! Then I realized, I’m young, like 8 year old, young.
Then my dream switched, where I’m a teenager again, 18, and I changed out of my white breeches(show pants) and into a black pair, my actual trainer was looking at me, knowing it was not wise to show in black, but I knew that too.

I don’t know why I wanted to wear them anyway.
It’s back to my original dream again, my dad is going over coaching me and stuff. The ones who held the show are doing a competition, it was similar to a loto ticket and a lever switch game from casinos. This boy my age or a few years older (12 ish?) helps me win it. They announce it’s time for my prize, then everything went wrong…

My tack up horse (her tack disappeared and I was on her in first person) was freaking DROPPED from 1000ft (the number they said) I was semi aware, like knew that third person me was actually not me, which is rare, and was screaming flailing and fighting, but could do nothing as she hit the ground…

I (8yr) was then in their car, dropped off in the middle of the road. I was transported back and my dad was fuming. My horse was used almost like a horn, (but she was just dropped again, like someone respawned her in a game) to signal the start of a class(a horse show term for activity)
I was half asleep and half awake the rest of the time, so everything is fuzzy to remember after this. But I was semi-aware of everything.
I couldn’t cry when I woke up, but I thought my love and heart was dead, that horse is basically my pride and joy. Please, tell me what this means?!