Back in middle school 7th grade May, I met a good guy friend of mine, who’s in a grade lower than me, at a game of tag. Over time, we got close and became close friends. We would tag each other for no reason and chase each other around the schoolyard. This interaction leads many people to ship us and told us how we can be a cute couple, but we constantly say that we don’t feel anything around each other and that we are not even the same age as I am a few months older than him. Around two weeks later, I first have a dream about him. I don’t know, but I felt a sudden warmth when I thought about him.
After that, I did not have a dream about him until in the summer of that year. That dream took place in my school, but the settings are completely messed up and strange. That guy friend, in my dream, would be really sweet to me and he seems like he wants to be close to me and raise our friendship levels to another level as in a romantic relationship or best friend level. After I dreamt about him, I thought about how I missed him. That feeling was relatively new and weird to me. I never thought about categorizing him as a crush item due to the lack of experience I have with crushes unlike my cousins and friends do. Then, I dream about him a few more times during my 8th-grade year and the dreams are relatively similar to the previous, but the settings would change.
That time, our friendship strengthened as we have time to hang out with each other during lunch, green team meetings/ trips, morning mighty runners sessions in the gym, and in the mornings. The green team trips and the morning mighty runners sessions in the gym are practically our alone time when we share personal things about each other. I continued to have dreams about him occasionally as we see each other every weekday. In green team trips, we would always sit next to each other and become each other’s partners. We tease each other as well. One time in an activity of a green team trip, we paired up to put some sort of powder in the blueberries plant to raise its PH.
That moment is one of the closest interactions we’d ever gotten. We were laughing when we tried to pour the powder and our foreheads almost touched. No, I didn’t feel any increased heart rate or butterflies as most of the romance novels I’ve read on Wattpad. What I felt is happiness and warmth at the moment. Still, I don’t get the signals my mind is giving me.
I graduated middle school last year June. As I say goodbye to my friends and teachers goodbye, I told him that he should try hard and get in a good high school next year. I want him to be happy as possible and our goodbyes aren’t really that teary-eyed or painful. During that summer, we pass each other while I went to buy something my dad wanted. I don’t know why, but I always felt awkward meeting people I know in the streets outside the school, so I tried to avoid him and ran home. I don’t know why, but I just did. Then, I saw him again when my mom and I got off the bus.
At that time, he was walking with his mom. We saw each other, waved (my style of a wave), and smiled at each other. Just like that, we parted ways. From that summer and onwards, I occasionally dreamed about him, but recently, that “occasionally” increased to “often”. Sometimes, he became “my first thought when I woke up and the last thought when I went back to bed” (cliche, I know). Also, at times, I wish we would bump each other again and hang out. In addition, when I see and hear about things that my guy friend would do, I thought about him.
This feeling and the constant appearance of him in my dream is scaring me. I don’t even know how to feel about him anymore. And the truth is I am too young to think about this, but to think that this feeling will soon flutter away like any other thoughts would do. However, that feeling had stuck with me the longest and I don’t know why. I am asking for an interpretation of what my dream actually hinted and my emotional feeling as well. Thank you!