How to Stop Dreaming About Your Ex – What You Should Know


Have you ever felt like there was one person from the past who you let slip through the door? The one person you thought was going to be your husband or wife ended up with heartbreak.

Part of being a human being is dealing with relationships, and unfortunately, one of the side effects of relationships is heartbreak.

While our great ancestors used to marry the first person they dated, today’s world is much different. Even when you think you have found the perfect person, sometimes a few months is all it takes for those dreams to get shattered.

With divorce rates the highest they have ever been, more people are experiencing hardships in their love life.

If breaking up isn’t hard enough, sometimes the aftereffect of a bad breakup is even worse. After all, the dust is settled, and you think you have moved on from your ex, then come to the dreams about that person.

We’ve all been there before, thinking that life is great and suddenly you have a dream about an ex that you thought you were over.


You thought you were over him or her and suddenly your dream makes you think twice. Do you still love them? Were you meant to be together?

You will find yourself having more questions than answers, which makes matters even worse. Fortunately, you are not alone.

This happens OFTEN.

You are not crazy.

Dreaming about your ex is completely normal, and it doesn’t mean that you are crazy. Most people have had a serious relationship with someone they loved, dream about that person after the breakup.

Just because you dream about your ex, does not mean you should drop what you are doing and contact them, and it doesn’t mean that he or she was the one that got away.

This idea that he or she was the one that got away will drive you crazy. It will keep you looking at your past, instead of looking forward to your future.

Over the years I have experienced countless people asking for help to stop dreaming about an ex. While no guaranteed method will stop you dreaming about your ex, there are some definite things you can do that will make the dreams less torturous than they have to be.

Just because you desperately want to stop seeing your ex in your dream, doesn’t mean that he or she will disappear. Sometimes when we want something to go away, the exact opposite will happen.

It is important to identify the reasons why you are dreaming about that person. Once you have identified why you are likely dreaming about them, you can then determine the solution.

You Feel Lonely Right Now

Sometimes dreams about an ex or lover from our past can indicate that we may be experiencing a time of loneliness in our lives. You might be in a long term relationship that has started to feel stale, or you could be single for an extended period.

When we go through a period of loneliness, our unconscious mind can take us back to a time in our lives when we were happier. Perhaps there was an ex from your past that you were madly in love with, this period could always represent a golden era in your dreams.

Solution: Focus on You

If you are in a period of loneliness right now, you have to find out what is causing the isolation. If you are in an unfilling relationship, maybe you should take a step back and ask yourself if you still want to be in that relationship.

Conversely, if you are single right now, you need to take steps to make yourself a better person. By working on improving yourself, you will gain more confidence and will find someone who is a good match for you.

Be comfortable being single and understand that you are worth gold, and don’t settle for anything less.

You Are Still in Love with Your Ex

Do you find yourself thinking about your ex from time to time? Do you get in a fight with your current lover and start thinking about how great your ex used to treat you?

We have all been in situations where we are in love with someone, who doesn’t love us back. When you encounter these situations, it can lead to heartbreak and pain. Nothing is worse than feeling like you are alone in your love.

If you find yourself still in love with your ex, you need to get over yourself. It is important to understand that until you get over your ex, you will not be able to move on from the situation. How do you do this? Learn to accept the fact that you and your ex were not meant to be together.

Solution: Accepting that You are Not Meant to be Together

Easier said than done, right?

The first step in resolving dreams about an ex is to accept the past and to move on from it.

Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to discard all of the love you once had or still have for a person. It just means that you accept the situation and understand that the relationship was never intended for the long term.

Just because you aren’t together now, doesn’t mean you didn’t benefit from the relationship. Sometimes relationships can help two people grow, even if the growth may be apart.

You may have been lying to yourself and saying that it will work out one day, but eventually, you need to come to grips with the situation.

If everyone around you sees the writing on the wall, but you, it may be time to do some soul searching.

Coming to accept the fact that you and your ex will not get back together, is a must in helping you stop dreaming about that person.

You Still Feel Hurt by Your Ex

Perhaps your ex did something to you that hurt you deep down. Maybe they cheated, were verbally or physically abusive, or even made you believe that they were committed to you for the long haul.

Whatever the case, if you have lingering pain towards your ex, it can create a lot of problems that manifest in your dreams.

Solution: Forgive Them

The first step in stopping those horrible dreams about your ex is to accept the fact that your relationship never worked out, and that is ok. If your relationship was meant to be, it would have worked, but it didn’t.

Whether or not it was your fault for the relationship not working out is irrelevant. Whatever happened, already happened. Reliving the past will not solve that.

If your ex treated you poorly or cheated on you, those things can leave lasting scars that can manifest yourself later. Anytime we have resentment or animosity towards someone or something, it will sow seeds of anger and hate, that can linger in our unconscious mind.

You need to take a step back, and ask yourself this important question: Do I have any lingering pain from my last relationship? If you find that you have any resentment towards your ex, you need to address those seeds of doubt head-on.

Alternatively, you may feel some guilt for the way that you treated your ex. Maybe you were not a good partner and didn’t treat them well. The guilt of knowing that you were not living up to your standards can also have a lasting impact on us.

Whether you were the one doing the wrong or someone wronged you, the first step you have to take is forgiveness.

Now, I know some of you are thinking, “that my ex doesn’t deserve my forgiveness!”

This may be true, but the forgiveness is not for them, it is for your benefit. Forgiving ourselves and others from our past can have a profound impact on our happiness.

Have you ever met an older person who has a lot of hate in their heart? What did you notice? That person was probably miserable, grumpy, and even looks older than their real age.

Anger and hate are toxic and can cause real physiological problems that manifest in our waking life. Forgiveness is the cure to this poison.

Something Is Reminding You of Your Ex

There can often be little things throughout the day that can trigger feelings or even dreams about an ex. For example, if you find yourself stalking your ex on social media from time to time, this is going to influence your unconscious mind.

If you know that you have specific things that trigger feelings about your ex, it is important that you avoid those things. If you follow your ex on social media, unfollow them immediately. But if you want to actually break free from them you need to release them in your mind.

The act of unfollowing or unfriending someone is going to allow you to be free from that link.

This is going to ensure that they don’t keep on popping up out of the blue randomly.  Keep yourself

Embrace Your Dreams…..and Move Forward

Whenever you dream about your ex, take a moment to reflect on the dream, and move on. If you spend days lingering about the dream, you will probably find that you start having recurring dreams.

If I told you right now to NOT think about a blue elephant wearing a pink tutu, what do you think your mind is going to do?

You probably imagined a blue elephant wearing a pink tutu, even though I said DO NOT think about it.

Our brains often do the opposite of what we tell it to do. So if I was to tell you NOT to think about your ex, your brain is immediately going to start thinking about your ex. And the harder you try to not think about your ex, your brain is going to think about him or her even more.

So instead of getting all angry and frustrated whenever you dream about your ex, just embrace it. Spend a moment of time and say to yourself, that was interesting, and then move on. Understand that your ex had good qualities and bad ones

Just Give it Time and Move on

While there is no way to eliminate dreams of your ex, time is often the best solution. Right after a breakup you are most likely going to have constant dreams of your ex. They will be fresh on your mind during the day, and you will have a hard time not thinking about them.

As you start moving on with your life and accepting the fact that you are no longer together, you will start having fewer feelings for that person. The longer time passes, the less frequent you will dream of that person.

When you fall in love again, you will suddenly stop thinking of that old person and move forward in your life.

If you are in a period where you are dreaming about your ex, just accept it and move on. Have faith that those dreams will subside and you will be able to proceed to a better place.

What you dream about today, is not going to affect you forever.

Note* If you have any dreams about your ex that are recurring, leave a comment below. Comments are a great way to interact with other dreamers who are dreaming about the same topic. You can interact with others in the comment section to help you find solutions to your problem. 


About Author

Stephen is a self confessed dream junkie that loves all things dream related. He is a writer for Dream Stop and has been working in the field of dreams for the past decade. He believes that the YOU are the only person who can truly understand the meaning of your dreams. You have to look inside your inner thoughts to find the hidden truths in your dream. These interpretations are for entertainment purposes only. Stephen's interpretations should be considered an opinion, not professional advice.


  1. Thank you for the article Stephen. I like that you’re giving us a dose of tough love with your no nonsense suggestions.

    I had yet another dream about the man that I broke up with thirteen years ago. You say that time heals but that doesn’t seem to be working in this case. I never think about him during the day and he’s a Luddite so he’s definitely not popping up on social media so I don’t think those issues are the problem.

    I have been mostly single for all these years and am definitely happier now than I ever was when in a relationship so I don’t think loneliness is the problem.

    I had trouble getting rid of him though and had to get the police involved twice because he wouldn’t leave me alone. It’s as if he’s resorted to hanging on to me through my dreams.

    I will try your other suggestions and see if that works.

  2. This is weird reading all these remarks. My ex husband left four years ago. He was found out having an affair with his best friends wife for 26 years out of a 30 year marriage. Her husband and myself had no idea though I never liked here in fact really detested her though I didn’t know why. She copied everything I did. I’m over him but not what he did and maybe that is why I am now having violent dreams about them. I shout and scream at them and wake up feeling awful. He’s 74 now a nd got the starting of dementia. They got married recently at Gretna green as they had no friends or family that would go. I know there’s something deep down, not feelings for him but the fact I spent loads of money on him paid all the household bills as it was my house and just did everything for him. I think that’s why I’m having these dreams. Thank you all for sharing your experiences it helps a lot.

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