11 Reasons Why Your Ex Might Show Up In Your Dreams


Have you ever had your ex show up in a dream, while you were in a happy and committed relationship? Whether you are single or in a relationship, an ex can make their way back into your dreams whether you want to see them or not.

Dreams about an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend can be extremely emotional. All those feelings that you once had for that person can come flooding right back into your life from out of nowhere. In the matter of a nights sleep, your mind can become completely consumed by someone you thought was out of your life.

Related Dream: Dreaming about an Ex-Lover

Have you ever wondered why an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend might show up in your dream? Here are 11 reasons why your ex might start appearing in your dreams.

#1. You Still Have Feelings for Your Ex

No matter what you do, you still have feelings for your ex.

Let’s get the obvious answer out of the way. The most common reason why people dream about an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/lover/husband/wife is that they still have feelings for that person. Whether or not you are the one who ended the relationship is irrelevant, you can still have feelings for someone after being separated for a while.

If you still think about your ex from time to time, this is just inviting your ex to show up in your dreams. Just because you have feelings for your ex, doesn’t mean that you guys are still supposed to be together. Put yourself back in your state of mind when you broke up, and you will probably realize why you are not together right now.

#2. You Never Received Closure In Your Relationship

Lack of closure can leave you wondering, “What if…”

Getting dumped sucks. Not only does it leave you feeling used, but it also leaves a hole in the middle of your heart. A lack of closure in a relationship can often leave you thinking, “what if things would have worked out different….”

Lack of closure can lead to an ex being stuck in your mind, making it difficult to move on. Whether it is six months or 10 years later, the emotions you experience are all the same. When we have those unanswered questions in our mind, sometimes our subconscious mind will try and find closure inside of a dream.

#3. You Are Fighting A lot With Your Current Partner

Do you remember the time when things were a lot easier? Your old boyfriend never used to piss you off as the current one does? Fighting a lot with a current lover will cause you to think about how great your ex-was. Being angry at someone is a great excuse to start thinking about how great your life used to be with your ex.

The grass is always greener on the other side, especially when you are past the honey moon phase of a relationship. While you might think about your ex when you fight, you will snap out of it when you start cooling off and realize how bad your ex was.

#4. You Have Been Stalking Your Ex On Social Media

Have you ever stalked your ex on social media?

If your ex shows up on your Facebook feed, there is always the temptation to click on their profile and see what they are up to. The temptation to stalk an ex is always present, especially if we had feelings for that person. You might be wondering if they were better of with you or without you.

Does your ex look better now? Do they appear like an upgraded version of themselves or have they let everything go. If they look like a 2.0 version of themselves, don’t be surprised if they make their way into your dreams and try to torment you.

#5. You May Feel Unsatisfied In Your Current Relationship/Love Situation

Some days you feel empty inside

If you are currently single or feel unsatisfied in your current relationship, your subconscious mind will be looking to fill the loneliness with someone or something that gave you comfort in the past. Even if you would never go back to your ex, it won’t stop your sub conscious of cooking up dream scenarios that you cause you to panic when you awake.

Whenever we are unhappy in our life, sometimes our subconscious mind will show us a time when things were easier. This dream might be telling you that you need to start making some positive changes in your life that will make you happier and more fulfilled.

#6. You Miss That Particular Time In Your Life

You miss that feeling of adventure in your life

As we get older and grow more mature, we will find that life starts to catch up to us. When you are young, everything seems so carefree and relaxed. You only really appreciate the freedom you have once it is taken away from you.

After you start to enter the work force and get a career, everything will start to slow down. You will no longer be able to do the things that you want to do because you will have a family and career to think about. Even though you might be with the perfect partner who is loving and supportive, you may still miss that stress-free period of your life. Sometimes life just happens….

7. You Miss Characteristics that Your Ex Had

Your ex had quite a personality

Even though you have moved on from your ex, there may be specific traits that your ex possessed that you have never been able to replace. Nobody is perfect. While the idea that the ideal man and woman exists, the reality is everyone has specific traits that their partner will love and some that they will not like.

Your ex may have been extremely sensitive and emotional, something that your current partner doesn’t have. Your sub conscious may be telling you that there are specific characteristics that you are missing in your life.

#8. Your Ex Recently Contacted You (Or At Least Tried To)

That moment when your ex tries to talk to you…

You may be in a perfectly happy relationship with the love of your life and suddenly, out of the blue, your ex contacts you. “Hey _____, I wanted to know how you are doing….I miss you.”

Why did your ex contact you? Probably because they are single right now (or unhappy themselves) and are looking to stir up the pot in other relationships.

An ex who contacts you out of the blue, is likely going to show up in your dreams because your mind will be racing with a million questions like, “Does this person still like me? Why are they contacting me? I don’t love him anymore?!” These are all issues that will cause them to enter your dreams at night.

#9. You Are Thinking About Working Things Out With Your Ex

You are thinking about getting back together, but it probably isn’t a good idea

Have you ever contemplated trying to work things out with an Ex that you know is not right for you? Even when all of the signs are saying NO, people tend to follow their heart, regardless of what your mind is telling you. (Following your heart is another word for making the wrong decision)

If you are thinking about working it out with your ex, don’t be surprised if you have a dream about your ex. Your subconscious mind may send you a warning dream about your ex, or you might have a wish fulfillment dream. If you do get back with your ex, be prepared for the same roller coaster ride that you left.

#10. You Decided To Take a Walk Down Memory Lane

Stop thinking about the past!

Often our subconscious mind will dream about things that are completely bizarre and unrelated to any events in our life. Your mind can bring back old memories from periods in your life when things were easier and less stressful.

If you REALLY loved someone in your past, that person can leave an imprint in your mind that’s hard to go away. All of those memories that you had with your loved one are going to be ingrained in your sub conscious mind. Sometimes our subconscious will show us parts of our past, which may include an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend.

#11. You Saw A Photo Of Your Ex on Facebook

Your ex just popped up on your Facebook feed.

It always comes down to Facebook. Social media is great for keeping in contact with our friends and family, but that is often a double edged sword. Given the number of related friends you will have on Facebook, breaking up with someone often means you will still see your ex when they are tagged in pictures with your friends.

Even if you have permanently deleted your ex on Facebook (you probably should), you are still likely to see that person tagged in photos with familiar friends. The moment you see their picture on Facebook, you will immediately start thinking about them and have some of your old memories come back to you.

How to Stop Dreaming About An Ex

#1. Remove Your Ex From Social Media, including Facebook

The longer you keep your ex on your Facebook feed, the more you will see new pictures of them. This will only reinforce the old memories that you had together. If you want to stop dreaming about your ex you need to get rid of them on your social media. (If you have no feelings and don’t dream about your ex, then, by all means, keep them as friends.)

#2. Accept That You Were Not Meant To Be Together

The worst thing you can ever do after you break up with someone is holding on to hope that you will get back together. It is important to accept that the relationship is over and you need to move on. Holding on to old hope and feelings can play havoc with your sub conscious mind. When you learn to accept your past and move on to the future, you will start to see things from a different perspective.

#3. Give it some Time

The old saying that time heals all is not true, but it does help us forget some of our past. The longer you spend out of a relationship, the less you will think about that person. If you are dreaming about an ex, date a few more people and eventually, that person will stop appearing in your dreams.

#4. Brush It Off (Don’t Dwell on It)

The worst thing you can do if you have a dream about an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend is to get caught up in the dream. The best way to stop dreaming about an ex is to accept the dream and move on. Don’t wake up and dwell on your dream for a long time.

If you focus too much on your dream it can cause recurring dreams about your ex. This will then cause a lot of heartaches as you wonder what you should do. Remember that dreaming about an ex is a highly common dream. Everyone who has been in a serious relationship will dream about that person at some point in their life.

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About Author

Laura is a contributor to Dream Stop. She is someone who has a sense of humors and likes to share that humor with her readers. She loves trying to find the hidden meanings in dreams, no matter how complex or simple they are. In her spare time she enjoys doing yoga and meditation.


  1. My ex is from over 12 years ago. Sometimes he is in my dreams every night, normally accompanied by his new wife. We are always friendly in my dreams and he’s always trying to tell me something and is very kind or holding my hand. I am also married and have children. I do miss many positive attributes about him and how he made me feel. I really thought we were going to get married. He got deployed in the military and got scared and we broke up and I cried every day for 3 months because I knew he was the one for me. I was so sad that I moved out of the country and was too stubborn to answer his call. He drove straight to my house the day he returned and I wasn’t there. A year later we reconnected but I was still out of the country. It was just love at first sight all over again. I was working on coming back but it took so long and someone else lived near him. They started seeing each other before I could move back. I relive specific moments of my life over and over, out of no where. I can’t move on and be present if I can’t let go but a part of me just will never feel the same no matter what I try.

  2. Actually I know why I dreamt about that guy. You mentioned good points but i couldnt relate at all. Someone just mentioned my ex again.

  3. This post is not at all helpful to me in my view as i don’t have any of the circumstances mentioned here..

  4. It has been 13 years since I left my ex. husband. I have been in a wonderful relationship with the love of my life for the past ten years. I am the one who left, i am not friends with my ex on social media, in fact I have no contact what so ever. So why is it that at least once a week I have a dream about my ex that leaves me feeling awful and unsure of whats going on. I do not wan to continue to have dreams about him. I will freely admit that I did not leave him because I didn’t love him, I left because I was lonely and we wanted two different things out of our lives. He wasn’t a very loving man so none of my needs were being met. I totally and completely believe it was the best thing I ever did. I was going no where married to him. Now I am an educated professional, own my own business , and have the most wonderful man. Please help!!

    • Hello Rebecca, I hope all is well. I have dreams about my ex too. Last night was my most recent one. There was a sense of missing her and being with her. While there was no sex or even kissing my dream, there was hugging and holding. I pictured her earlier in our relationship when things were good. Now what is odd is that I have no (conscious) feelings for my ex. We have been apart for almost 10 years. I have left most of my negative feelings behind. But truthfully, I have never forgiven her for time lost with my daughter. Grant it, my daughter and I are very close now and we text each other 5-7 days a week. So its water under the bridge. And I guess during the divorce there is still a sense of betrayal and a forever lack of trust. So I will never be able to be with her again. Though I have to say, I have some of the wildest dreams about whatever. So maybe its just a page in a long book.

  5. It’s been 3 years since my ex and I were together. I have been with another man these past 3 years and have a beautiful 1 year old daughter, I love the man I’m with but I still think and dream about my ex EVERY DAY, I cant get over him. We had the PERFECT relationship. we were “together” for 1 year and a half, and the only reason I have quotation marks around together is because he was in jail for a year. but it was only him. we talked on the phone all the time and wrote letters all the time. which I do think makes things harder cuz everything was so real. it wasn’t based off sex it was all based off emotions. Well he found out he was getting out of jail soon and decided he had to focus on himself. he broke up with me in November and in January my mom set me up on a blind date, I was so sad I felt like forcing myself to move on was all I could do. February came around and my ex called valentines day but my mom answered and told him I was out with my “new boyfriend” he called later saying he just couldn’t move on. he needed to talk to me and well by then I had just found out I was pregnant. so that was kind of the end to our relationship. here we are and now he just had a baby with his new girlfriend and I still miss this man, I dream that he is my daughters father even though I know he’s not, I tried unfriending him from Facebook when I found out he was having a baby. I actually did unfriend him from Facebook, and like a month later received a message from him asking why I unfriended him and how he still wants to be bale to see that I’m okay and well. I re-friended him and well we haven’t talked really since. that was almost a year ago. in total its been 3 years and here I am. I talked to his mom the other day and she said not to reach out to him, unfinished business or not. I don’t know what to do…

    • Well from past expirience, you should contact him, meet face to face and talk it out with him. There may not be any more feelings (you guys have found new people to love), but you wont be at peace until you theres no more questions unanswered :))

  6. I keep having a recurring dream of my ex husband. In the dream we are back together in a house but I can sense the anger in him. It’s like he is still upset with me but I don’t know why. Our (his and mine not ours) children are in the background but even they can sense the tension but everyone goes on with their business. In real life he had texted me to ask me about a mutual friend that happened to be his ex girlfriend that I am currently friends with that was affected by Hurricane Harvey. It so happened that I had heard from her that day before he texted so I was able to let him know that she was okay. I thought that was wired that he had texted me.

  7. The one who walked away on

    My ex enters my dreams way too often. He is also trying to keep in touch with me, but I do not respond. I have blocked him everywhere I could. I am engaged to another man, and I do not want to sabotage the relationship with my fiancé. I do not know if my ex is aware of my current relationship status, but he sends messages to my mother, who, for some strange, reason still keeps him on her friend’s list and replies to him. I walked away from that man and, especially, the pain surrounding our union. I broke up with him a couple of years ago, but it doesn’t seem like he is willing to vanish. Every time when I see a dream with him, I wake up sick. This is what bothers me more than the fact that I am dreaming about him. I was pretty sick during our exhausting union and after the break up. I perfectly understand that my today’s “sickness” is more psychological than physical. I know that I should forgive him and, mostly, myself. Forgiveness is a type of closure I am looking for, but it is a hard one. I am proud that I ended the relationship the way I did. We were to remain friends who never talk to each other and never do any harm to each other. I did my part of the deal, but in my mind, as a Scorpio, I know that I want a revenge on him. This man hurt my pride. I am hoping that someday my inner conflicts will be fully resolved, and I manage to forget this entire experience. I would really want that.

    • VividDreamer on

      I’ve been dealing with the same thing you are, except I am not engaged but I am dating someone I really like. My ex recently got in touch with me but prior to that I kept having dreams about him and I myself, would wake up physically ill. Our break up was not pretty. After we broke up he would torment me, call me in the late hours of the night, leave me voicemails to come back to him, and many many other things. I found out he wasn’t being faithful and I walked away after 3 years of being together. As a strong independent Aquarius woman, there’s times where I can’t seem to get over that pain. I’ll have random flashbacks. But maybe this is also manifesting into my dreams. But still really coincidental that he would text me “I dreamt about you.” after I had dreamt about him that same night. I read a while ago that if you dream about someone from your pet that means that they are thinking about you/missing you. Who knows.

        • I was dating a guy in college briefly but I was mad in love with him. It was unhealthy big love. It’s been 12 years and I’m married with 3 children. I’m happy. I don’t think about my ex boyfriend at all. But at least once a month I have a dream with him in it. I’m tired of it because obviously it wakes my feelings up for him and I can’t do anything about it. It’s driving me crazy. Do I need exorcist lol?

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