11 Reasons Why Your Ex Might Show Up In Your Dreams

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Dream about an ex

Have you ever had an ex show up in a dream, while you were in a happy and committed relationship? Whether you are single or in a relationship, an ex can make their way back into your dreams whether you want to see them or not.

Dreams about an ex boyfriend or girlfriend can be extremely emotional. All those feelings that you once had for that person can come flooding right back into your life from out of nowhere. In the matter of a nights sleep, your mind can become completely consumed by someone you thought was out of your life.

If you need more dream interpretations please visit our dream dictionary here

Have you ever wondered why an ex boyfriend or girlfriend might show up in your dream? Here are 11 reasons why your ex might start appearing in your dreams.

#1. You Still Have Feelings for Your Ex

No matter what you do, you still have feelings for your ex.

Lets get the obvious answer out of the way. The most common reason why people dream about an ex boyfriend/girlfriend/love/husband/wife is because they still have feelings for that person. Whether or not you are the one who ended the relationship is irrelevant, you can still have feelings for someone after being separated for a while.

If you still think about your ex from time to time, this is just inviting your ex to show up in your dreams. Just because you have feelings for your ex, doesn’t mean that you guys are still meant to be together. Put yourself back in your state of mind when you broke up and you will probably realize why you are not together right now.

#2. You Never Received Closure In Your Relationship

Lack of closure can leave you wondering, “What if…”

Getting dumped sucks. Not only does it leave you feeling used, it also leaves a hole in the middle of your heart. A lack of closure in a relationship can often leave you thinking, “what if things would have worked out different….”

Lack of closure can lead to an ex being stuck in your mind, making it difficult to move on. Whether it is 6 months or 10 years later, the emotions you experience are all the same. When we have those unanswered questions in our mind, sometimes our subconscious mind will try and find closure inside of a dream.

#3. You Are Fighting A lot With Your Current Partner

Do you remember the time when things were a lot easier? Your old boyfriend never used to piss you off like the current one does? Fighting a lot with a current lover will cause you to think about how great your ex was. Being angry at someone is a great excuse to start thinking about how great your life used to be with your ex.

The grass is always greener on the other side, especially when you are past the honey moon phase of a relationship. While you might think about your ex when you fight, you will snap out of it when you start cooling off and realize how bad your ex really was.

#4. You Have Been Stalking Your Ex On Social Media

Have you ever stalked your ex on social media?

If your ex shows up on your Facebook feed, there is always the temptation to click on their profile and see what they are up to. The temptation to stalk an ex is always present, especially if we had feelings for that person. You might be wondering if they were better of with you or without you.

Does your ex look better now? Do they look like an upgraded version of themselves or have they let everything go. If they look like a 2.0 version of themselves, don’t be surprised if they make their way into your dreams and try to torment you.

#5. You May Feel Unsatisfied In Your Current Relationship/Love Situation

Some days you feel empty inside

If you are currently single or feel unsatisfied in your current relationship, your subconscious mind will be looking to fill the loneliness with someone or something that gave you comfort in the past. Even if you would never go back to your ex, it won’t stop your sub conscious of cooking up dream scenarios that you cause you to panic when you awake.

Whenever we are unhappy in our life, sometimes our subconscious mind will show us a time when things were easier. This dream might be telling you that you need to start making some positive changes in your life that will make you happier and more fulfilled.

#6. You Miss That Particular Time In Your Life

You miss that feeling of adventure in your life

As we get older and grow more mature, we will find that life starts to catch up to us. When you are young, everything seems so carefree and easy. You only really appreciate the freedom you have once it is taken away from you.

After you start to enter the work force and get a career, everything will start to slow down. You will no longer be able to do the things that you want to do because you will have a family and career to think about. Even though you might be with the perfect partner who is loving and supportive, you may still miss that stress free period of your life. Sometimes life just happens….

7. You Miss Characteristics that Your Ex Had

Your ex had quite a personality

Even though you have moved on from your ex, there may be specific traits that your ex possessed that you have never been able to replace. Nobody is perfect. While the idea that the perfect man and woman exists, the reality is everyone has specific traits that their partner will love and some that they will not like.

Your ex may have been extremely sensitive and emotion, something that your current partner doesn’t have. Your sub conscious may be telling you that there are specific characteristics that you are missing in your life.

#8. Your Ex Recently Contacted You (Or At Least Tried To)

That moment when your ex tries to talk to you…

You may be in a perfectly happy relationship with the love of your life and suddenly, out of the blue, your ex contacts you. “Hey _____, I wanted to know how you are doing….I miss you.”

Why did your ex contact you? Probably because they are single right now and looking to stir up the pot in other relationships.

An ex who contacts you out of the blue, is likely going to show up in your dreams because your mind will be racing with a million questions like, “Does this person still like me? Why are they contacting me? I don’t love him anymore?!” These are all questions that will cause them to enter your dreams at night.

#9. You Are Thinking About Working Things Out With Your Ex

You are thinking about getting back together, but it probably isn’t a good idea

Have you ever contemplated trying to work things out with an Ex that you clearly know is not right for you. Even when all of the signs are saying NO, people have tendency to follow their heart, regardless of what your mind is telling you. (Following your heart is another word for making the wrong decision)

If you are thinking about working it out with your ex, don’t be surprised if you have a dream about your ex. Your subconscious mind may send you a warning dream about your ex or you might have a wish fulfillment dream. If you do get back with your ex, be prepared for the same roller coaster ride that you left.

#10 .You Decided To Take a Walk Down Memory Lane

Stop thinking about the past!

Often our subconscious mind will dream about things that are completely bizarre and unrelated to any events in our life. Your mind can bring back old memories from periods in your life when things were easier and less stressful.

If you REALLY loved someone in your past, that person can leaving an imprint in your mind that is difficult to go away. All of those memories that you had with your loved one, are going to be ingrained in your sub conscious mind. Sometimes our subconscious will show us parts of our past, which may include an ex boyfriend or girlfriend.

#11. You Saw A Photo Of Your Ex on Facebook

Your ex just popped up on your Facebook feed.

It always comes down to Facebook. Social media is great for keeping in contact with our friends and family, but that is often a double edged sword. Given the amount of cross friends you will have on Facebook, breaking up with someone often means you will still see your ex when they are tagged in pictures with your friends.

Even if you have permanently deleted your ex on Facebook (you probably should), you are still likely to see that person tagged in photos with common friends. The moment you see their picture on Facebook you will immediately start thinking about them and have some of your old memories come back to you.

How to Stop Dreaming About An Ex

#1. Remove Your Ex From Social Media, including Facebook

The longer you keep your ex on your Facebook feed, the more you will see new pictures of them. This will only reinforce the old memories that you had together. If you want to stop dreaming about your ex you need to get rid of them on your social media. (If you have no feelings and don’t dream about your ex, then by all means keep them as friends.)

#2. Accept That You Were Not Meant To Be Together

The worst thing you can ever do after you break up with someone is hold on to hope that you will get back together. It is important to accept that the relationship is over and you need to move on. Holding on to old hope and feelings can play havoc with your sub conscious mind. When you learn to accept your past and move on to the future, you will start to see things from a different perspective.

#3. Give it some Time

The old saying that time heals all is not true, but it does help us forget some of our past. The longer you spend out of a relationship, the less you will think about that person. If you are dreaming about an ex, date a few more people and eventually that person will stop appearing in your dreams.

#4. Brush It Off (Don’t Dwell on It)

The worst thing you can do if you have a dream about an ex boyfriend or girlfriend is to get caught up in the dream. The best way to stop dreaming about an ex is to accept the dream and move on. Don’t wake up and dwell on your dream for a long time.

If you focus too much on your dream it can cause recurring dreams about your ex. This will then cause a lot of heartache as you wonder what you should do. Remember that dreaming about an ex is an extremely common dream. Everyone who has been in a serious relationship, will dream about that person at some point in their life.

Need more help? Click here to read our guide on interpreting dreams about an ex (boyfriend,girlfriend,lover)

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About Author

Laura is a contributor to Dream Stop. She is someone who has a sense of humors and likes to share that humor with her readers. She loves trying to find the hidden meanings in dreams, no matter how complex or simple they are. In her spare time she enjoys doing yoga and meditation.

29 Comments

  1. Ok so any help here would be appreciated.
    I’ve been single for about a year now, my ex-wife and i finally called it quits after 12 years. The girl I dated before my wife is one of my best friends (she was actually my first love). Here lately she has been popping up in my dreams. Its not like I’m dreaming about when we were together, in these dreams we are together at the current time. Its strange and im not sure what to make of it, and input is appreciated. Thanks guys.

  2. I had a dream about my ex last night. It seemed to last so long and felt so real. I felt so complete with him there. I havent had a dream about him in a long time. We broke up 8 yrs ago, and it was rough. We went through a lot and only dated off and on for a few years. Why I had a dream about him I dont know.

  3. My dreams of my ex wife are quite different to what is wrote on here i have been divorced from her since 1985 and never see her or talk to her but for the last 20 years at least once or twice a year i dream she has come back to me and wants us to start over again and it is allways the same dream not exactly the same dream its at a diffenent place but the out come is allways about her coming back to me wanting us to give things another go and not only that the dreams seem so real as if i cant all most touch them and when i wake up its as if shes been her and she comes and goes from my mind all that day ,i have had dreams of other things that have come true even years after ive dream’t them

  4. My ex was a abusive and annoying as he’ll. I don’t ever want to be with him again. But I always have dreams that seem real and in those dreams I never left him and through out the dream I’m panicking like no this isn’t right, I left you. This article wasn’t very helpful.

  5. I have been dreaming of my [4year] ex for almost two months, random dreams, random scenarios – things we never did when we we’re still together. Our relationship lasted for 4years [2012-2016], and we just broke up 3months ago. In my latest dream, I believe that was three days ago, my [4year] ex sat beside me and asked me if, “maybe we can start over?”. I was in great surprise – why did my ex tell me this thing, since this person was the first one to leave me?
    My love for my [4year] ex was not as the same as before, and there could be no second chances for us after all the things happened. So, it really left me a ‘big’ question. I know I already moved on, and I wouldn’t ask for a start over. I am also not visiting her Facebook or anything – my ex also blocked me so I cannot send messages. We had no communications since my ex left. I am not really missing my 4-year ex, but, maybe my [4year] ex does?
    I’d rather miss my current ex, consciously. I am thinking of this person tho I try to keep distance. We broke up just a month ago and if I have hopes, it would be for this person – we still communicate on Facebook, I try to be a friend. So I wonder why it was my 4-year ex that showed up in my dreams and not the current one. A bit confused. :/

  6. i have dream of my ex too.. several times and im with happy relationship with other man yet everytimebi dream of him i remember how excited i am to be with him.. we met last year he said i will always have space in his heart tho he has to go with his life and told me maybe in sometime in future if were both single and still want each other.. i disagree on this so i did the last promise when we were together its just a silly thing ill buy him a pizza and deliver it to his house wearing a hat. i did that we had a talk that night he ask me whats my plan i told him idk, later we parted and had a big hug like we usually do.

    i thought dreaming of him would end but it only stops for a year now i dreamed of him again and the same feeling of excitement but then when i wakeup i feel sad because im with a new man that loves me more than he have and i feel like i cant give everything of all of me because of the dream. .

    i really want to end my dreams with him because it gives me 2nd thoughts.

    • This isn’t exactly my situation and I’m not sure what to do either. I just want them to stop.
      If you found anything that worked please let me know.

  7. I went out with this girl for two year which is a lot too me. With other girls I cant even last three months, but this girl was different she knows everything about me and i know everything about her but yet she lest me like nothing to go back out with her ex. From there I went through depression because of her and other things going on in my life. Don’t worry thought I already fought through it. But I had a dream about her last night that she was with someone else and I was just miserable living the bad life like some people would say. But why did that dream come? Honestly after I woke I was a little sad but I was wondering why? I have not thought about her or have social media but yet she came in my dream?

  8. Couple of days I have this weird feeling of my ex missed me and same goes to me, I do miss him too.. Real bad. Last night before i went to sleep the feeling was so strong and couldn’t help it and i cried..

    That night I dreamt of him. I message him asking how was he using unknown number. And he guessed me right. We unplanned meet up somewhere in my car and he looked okay and moved on. Both of us talked about past time what have we done to the relationship and how to solve it. He drove somewhere i don’t know. Towards the end of of our journey, he said he will never forget me and wish to turn back time to make it up to me. I helped to tie his necktie (idk why this happened) and he bid farewell. And left me alone in the car. I cried and i shouted “i love you” few times.

    Only i knew it was a dream when my husband wake me up saying i was shouting to something in weird language. I cried when i wake up.. The dream felt so real.

    To you my ex, we’ve been together since high school.. In relationships with you for 8++ years. After both of us moved on, i got married and u got married too. 13 years after we broke up, I’m still thinking of you and missing you. Good knows how deeply i am missing you.

    • Mathieu baker on

      That’s so sweet! I miss my ex to and dream of her often… She got engaged and has a kid now with the guy she lives with. I have dreams about her all the time. And she has dreams about me. Its a real gut wrenching feeling when you wake up and realize it was only a dream. Your dream made me cry. I hope you find peace In your life!

  9. I am currently in a working relationship. But since I have started this new relationship I have been having dreams that never happened in real life. They are dreams were I am happy, excited, and were I still love my ex. My most recent dream of my ex is where we are driving to go somewhere I don’t know where. I am trying to figure out where we are going but he won’t tell me. While we were driving we were trying to make conversation. After awhile we finally got there he was taking me to a drivin movie mixed with a romantic picnic. I loved it we had lights and he made it were we could be the only ones there. We got to watch Gone with the Wind. When the movie was over. He looked over at me and kissed me. Our first kiss. Then it was over. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!

    • Anshul Choudhary on

      Do you know a psychological fact . If you had a dream about your ex he/she misses you today also.

  10. lijo Joseph on

    I lov her a lot but she is not with me there is no day I never think of het before I go to sleep I miss u sujata plz cm back dear plz if possible plz help me .

  11. I just woke up from a dream that felt so real. My first highschool sweetheart name Pedro whom I broke up with about 20 years ago, and was verbally abusive with. He was wonderful, a true gentleman. I grew up from a broken family. He proposed to me at the end of our senior year in highschool. I broke up with him before prom that we did not end up going together. It literally broke my heart. The reason I broke up with him was because I was tremendously afraid of losing him that I decided at the time that it was best to break up with him altogether. He had so much potential. Being each other’s first love, I felt I didn’t want to limit him of his life potentials and adventures of dating new people and truly living your life to the fullest. It ended horribly. I attempted to reconcile in the past, but did not have any luck. The closure was perhaps unforgivable till this day. I continue to dream about him till this day. I can’t explain why. I wonder if I should reach out to him, and perhaps ask for forgiveness. However I wouldn’t know where to begin since we live in different states now. I have no idea how to get a hold of him and embarrassed also.

    • I did the same thing you did. She used to always hang up on me for years so I finally tried to just move on. Year went by but how do you forget your first love the one I felt was plan (A) and every day I feel I’m living plan (B) or plan (C) or whatever plan but it isn’t the plan (A) the one I ruined the one I already had but broke up with her and threw plan (A) away. I broke up with her too because I wanted the best for her and at the time I couldn’t give that to her so I did a selfless thing and broke up so she could have a better life. But she loved me too and took years to get over me. But I didn’t know till one day she received a call from me out of the blue. I begged her not to hang up said I was sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry really fast and told her I was needing closure and it’s led me to her and I need her help. She ended up talking to me and for an hour and a half it was like we were right there again in love. She missed me. But there was no way we could be together she had a husband type guy (not her husband really but like a husband) and 3 of his kids had now accepted her as Mom.

      If that wasn’t the case she wished we could be together.

      What you may find in reaching out is that he may very well miss you and think of the two of you but he had to move on and things will be different unless he’s single.
      If he’s with another girl it might be impossible for him to leave that relationship as maybe her kids have accepted him as Dad. How would you like it if you accepted someone as Dad then some would came and took him away from your mom and you?
      That is why I knew I couldn’t take her away from her new life and had to accept that she still loved me and always will but unless the situation is right and all the planets are aligned you won’t end up together but knowing that someone will always hold me fondly in their heart forever means something. Alot.

      The only hope you have without being a home wrecker is to let any relationship he might be in run its course and if it ends and you are right there at the right time you two might end up together.

      I’d work on getting yourself fit and trim. If you are out of shape because the girl he remembers is the younger version of you but if you look hotter that hell when he sees you again he may go omg and who knows? Maybe a relationship hes not happy in he might end it for you. It’s not about looks but wouldn’t it be nice for him to see you and you make him see what he’s missing out on. Have you ever seen those ugly duckling who turned into swans that is how you need to think. No naturally I’ve no idea what you look like I’m just writing in the comment section trying to give you pointers because your story is parallel to mine. But no did the same thing you did. She used to always hang up on me for years so I finally tried to just move on. Year went by but how do you forget your first love the one I felt was plan (A) and every day I feel I’m living plan (B) or plan (C) or whatever plan but it isn’t the plan (A) the one I ruined the one I already had but broke up with her and threw plan (A) away. I broke up with her too because I wanted the best for her and at the time I couldn’t give that to her so I did a selfless thing and broke up so she could have a better life. But she loved me too and took years to get over me. But I didn’t know till one day she received a call from me out of the blue. I begged her not to hang up said I was sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry really fast and told her I was needing closure and it’s led me to her and I need her help. She ended up talking to me and for an hour and a half it was like we were right there again in love. She missed me. But there was no way we could be together she had a husband type guy (not her husband really but like a husband) and 3 of his kids had now accepted her as Mom.

      If that wasn’t the case she wished we could be together.

      What you may find in reaching out is that he may very well miss you and think of the two of you but he had to move on and things will be different unless he’s single.
      If he’s with another girl it might be impossible for him to leave that relationship as maybe her kids have accepted him as Dad. How would you like it if you accepted someone as Dad then some would came and took him away from your mom and you?
      That is why I knew I couldn’t take her away from her new life and had to accept that she still loved me and always will but unless the situation is right and all the planets are aligned you won’t end up together but knowing that someone will always hold me fondly in their heart forever means something. Alot.

      The only hope you have without being a home wrecker is to let any relationship he might be in run its course and if it ends and you are right there at the right time you two might end up together.

      I’d work on getting yourself fit and trim. If you are out of shape because the girl he remembers is the younger version of you but if you look hotter that hell when he sees you again he may go omg and who knows? Maybe a relationship hes not happy in he might end it for you. It’s not about looks but wouldn’t it be nice for him to see you and you make him see what he’s missing out on.

      what you look like there is always room for improvement. If you are over weight lose it! Get a new hairstyle. Vamp yourself up girl. Remember you might have one chance left. Do you want to jeopardize your only chance?

      Good luck. Keep your head up.

  12. I have had a very worst break up
    ever of my 5 years long relationship. He used to have soo many realtion behind my back and then he got marry after 5 months of breakup of us with the last girl he had affair when he was in a relation with me .I was soo dedicated in my relation and m now keep dreaming him every night. My mind totally tryin to convince me to forget the bad things he did to me sometimes I feel like I would be back if he didn’t get marry bt he did and m missing every good things he used to do for me .
    I don’t wanna miss and dream him every night bt my mind and heart arghhh every time miss him.

  13. I have dreams about my ex man we only dated for 3months and he broke up with me immediately he left Kenya to jacata Indonesia. I don t know what to do. Because I’m still having wiered dreams for instance he rescued me from an accident, he came back to give me a break up letter, he came back to my house to tell me goodbye. I still love him but he blocked my number
    How can I forget him.

    • You’re in a situation were you are unaware that you’re priorities are flipped upside down.

      It took losing my mom in a car accident before I realized what I was chasing after in life was not what I really wanted. 15 years I couldn’t let go. Till the accident. Then I said what have I been chasing after for all these years? I missed out on life living in the past.

      Life flipped my priority list the other way around. All the things I put on the bottom were now on the top. In other words she was no longer my top priority.

      What you are wanting might happen the two of you might end up together no telling. But in the meantime you’re wasting your life away.

  14. i dreamed about my ex boyfriend (the father of my son) and me are getting married in a church with a few online friends who acts as my bridesmaid the weird thing is we have another son and we are both happy. actually i don’t want to remember him but why of all people that i marry in my dream why him? we have a messy break up and he didn’t even know that we have a son (i don’t want him to enter my life and to my son’s life after what he did to my family and making decisions that against my will) i don’t want to hear or see him again.. 🙁

  15. My ex and I broke up a year ago after only dating for one month. However, during that month, we really got heavily involved with one another in a physical, emotional and verbal way. I dream about my ex girlfriend. I just dreamt about her today where I saw her at my former job. We used to be coworkers. I came out of a relationship a month ago. I decided to let go of my other girlfriend because I agreed it would be better to just be friends. Then, my ex started showing up more and more in my dreams after that. I’ll admit a minuscule part of me still loves her but I am reminded why I broke up with her and especially how she acted after the breakup. Although she didn’t act very vile, my ex made my work situation uncomfortable, including flirting with a another coworker – a married man to make me jealous. She stalked me by frequenting some areas I hung out in and sent me texts pleading for me to take her back. If I didn’t, my ex switched tones and started calling me names. Still though, months and months after the breakup and after I left that job we were coworkers in, I still find myself, for some reason, loving my ex regardless of what she did to me. She made my mind burn with anger but I still loved her anyway. Then the nagging question would come up if perhaps things would have been different if I gave her a longer grace period and how things would have been. I think that there may be three factors at play here which may be responsible for the dreams: (1) Still having a bit of feelings for her, (2) guilt for maybe not giving her enough of a chance, (3) curiosity of wondering if the relationship would have actually worked or not, and (4) I thought maybe her and I could at least be friends since she really misses me and wants me in her life. Sure, from what I have been reading, dreaming about your ex is common place, but man oh man do my dreams look and feel mighty real. I don’t know. I love her but I know we can’t be together because of her somewhat abusive personality and it’s really tough. She wasn’t abusive all the time. In fact there were times when she hugged me or held my hand, I felt a solid grip of assurance. It was strange. She does have a very kind side, but there were elements of her personality that put up red flags, especially when she flirted with a married man and they have been going for lunches everytime they’re together at work. That’s when I couldn’t go back to her because that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. But like I said, a “part” of me “feels” that regardless of all that my ex put me through after the breakup, that part of me “still” loves her. And I’m getting annoyed because I’m confused. I need some solid advice.

    • You should talk to her. Ask her how she is doing. Make her feel comfortable to be your friend. She will eventually open up and tell you how she really feels. She seems like the open type anyways. She sounds like me. Smh. I was very malicious to my ex. I did so many things to hurt and piss him off. But it only ended up hurting me. I’m finally being nice to him again but it’s only cause I love him so much.

    • I know, that same thing happened to me but eventually I lead myself to believe that she doesn’t love me anymore and I’m starting to think that was a mistake…I’ve been having the same dream about her the past few days where we get back together and she starts almost cheating on me right in my face….I still love her it’s just I didn’t want myself to get hurt anymore then she already has so I did my best to leave her…

      • I met a russian girl mila , fall in love have kids (2 boys and girl). After 8 yrs of marriage all of a sudden she left me. She would not let me see her or kids. I asked her to get back to work as kids are grown up and it is boring sitting at home. I used to work and travel. One day she left me with no reason. She took everything with her all valuables from home. I really loved her that i could not explain …like my own – deep in love. I havent seen my kids in 1.5 years ….she wont let me …..i understood she is in a relationship now ….i have no contact with her dont know where she is ….legal battle ..is ongoing …i wait everyday to go to sleep …so that i can see my kids and play with them ….its 6:30 am …i just had a dream ..i am with my x…driving …she told me that she loved me and wants to get back …she kissed me ..it is so real …i asked but you are with another guy ? She answered ( in my dream ) dont worry i got tested …..what is the meaning of this dream ? …..i just want my xwife to be happy …i love her as my own self ….and protect her like my kids …but unable ….i dream. And anxious to be reset my life as it was before …….i see it as a trend in the society to split up before work it with your issues ……my parents are still together at 52 yrs of marriage …they fight but they still love each other ….it seems to be an epidemic to split and have …a different relationship with kids from different relationship….multiple kids with either fatherless or motherless child…..does anyone think about their kids ? Why ppl are so selfish …..ppl really think they are going to be happy in another relationship in different setting with different partner with different kids ….looking for happyness? ….this dreams shall keep coming as it is our conscious telling us ….what is happyness…..we need to let our selfishness vanish and embrace consciousness with your partner , with everything around you and environment …make absolutely sure ….and then have kids ……i made a big …fall in love ….that i have no closure to fall out off …as it is deep …still ticking after 10 yrs …..by the way this above article is not true …..the writer never felt true love…….

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