11 Reasons Why Your Ex Might Show Up In Your Dreams

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Dream about an ex

Have you ever had an ex show up in a dream, while you were in a happy and committed relationship? Whether you are single or in a relationship, an ex can make their way back into your dreams whether you want to see them or not.

Dreams about an ex boyfriend or girlfriend can be extremely emotional. All those feelings that you once had for that person can come flooding right back into your life from out of nowhere. In the matter of a nights sleep, your mind can become completely consumed by someone you thought was out of your life.

If you need more dream interpretations please visit our dream dictionary here

Have you ever wondered why an ex boyfriend or girlfriend might show up in your dream? Here are 11 reasons why your ex might start appearing in your dreams.

#1. You Still Have Feelings for Your Ex

No matter what you do, you still have feelings for your ex.

Lets get the obvious answer out of the way. The most common reason why people dream about an ex boyfriend/girlfriend/love/husband/wife is because they still have feelings for that person. Whether or not you are the one who ended the relationship is irrelevant, you can still have feelings for someone after being separated for a while.

If you still think about your ex from time to time, this is just inviting your ex to show up in your dreams. Just because you have feelings for your ex, doesn’t mean that you guys are still meant to be together. Put yourself back in your state of mind when you broke up and you will probably realize why you are not together right now.

#2. You Never Received Closure In Your Relationship

Lack of closure can leave you wondering, “What if…”

Getting dumped sucks. Not only does it leave you feeling used, it also leaves a hole in the middle of your heart. A lack of closure in a relationship can often leave you thinking, “what if things would have worked out different….”

Lack of closure can lead to an ex being stuck in your mind, making it difficult to move on. Whether it is 6 months or 10 years later, the emotions you experience are all the same. When we have those unanswered questions in our mind, sometimes our subconscious mind will try and find closure inside of a dream.

#3. You Are Fighting A lot With Your Current Partner

Do you remember the time when things were a lot easier? Your old boyfriend never used to piss you off like the current one does? Fighting a lot with a current lover will cause you to think about how great your ex was. Being angry at someone is a great excuse to start thinking about how great your life used to be with your ex.

The grass is always greener on the other side, especially when you are past the honey moon phase of a relationship. While you might think about your ex when you fight, you will snap out of it when you start cooling off and realize how bad your ex really was.

#4. You Have Been Stalking Your Ex On Social Media

Have you ever stalked your ex on social media?

If your ex shows up on your Facebook feed, there is always the temptation to click on their profile and see what they are up to. The temptation to stalk an ex is always present, especially if we had feelings for that person. You might be wondering if they were better of with you or without you.

Does your ex look better now? Do they look like an upgraded version of themselves or have they let everything go. If they look like a 2.0 version of themselves, don’t be surprised if they make their way into your dreams and try to torment you.

#5. You May Feel Unsatisfied In Your Current Relationship/Love Situation

Some days you feel empty inside

If you are currently single or feel unsatisfied in your current relationship, your subconscious mind will be looking to fill the loneliness with someone or something that gave you comfort in the past. Even if you would never go back to your ex, it won’t stop your sub conscious of cooking up dream scenarios that you cause you to panic when you awake.

Whenever we are unhappy in our life, sometimes our subconscious mind will show us a time when things were easier. This dream might be telling you that you need to start making some positive changes in your life that will make you happier and more fulfilled.

#6. You Miss That Particular Time In Your Life

You miss that feeling of adventure in your life

As we get older and grow more mature, we will find that life starts to catch up to us. When you are young, everything seems so carefree and easy. You only really appreciate the freedom you have once it is taken away from you.

After you start to enter the work force and get a career, everything will start to slow down. You will no longer be able to do the things that you want to do because you will have a family and career to think about. Even though you might be with the perfect partner who is loving and supportive, you may still miss that stress free period of your life. Sometimes life just happens….

7. You Miss Characteristics that Your Ex Had

Your ex had quite a personality

Even though you have moved on from your ex, there may be specific traits that your ex possessed that you have never been able to replace. Nobody is perfect. While the idea that the perfect man and woman exists, the reality is everyone has specific traits that their partner will love and some that they will not like.

Your ex may have been extremely sensitive and emotion, something that your current partner doesn’t have. Your sub conscious may be telling you that there are specific characteristics that you are missing in your life.

#8. Your Ex Recently Contacted You (Or At Least Tried To)

That moment when your ex tries to talk to you…

You may be in a perfectly happy relationship with the love of your life and suddenly, out of the blue, your ex contacts you. “Hey _____, I wanted to know how you are doing….I miss you.”

Why did your ex contact you? Probably because they are single right now and looking to stir up the pot in other relationships.

An ex who contacts you out of the blue, is likely going to show up in your dreams because your mind will be racing with a million questions like, “Does this person still like me? Why are they contacting me? I don’t love him anymore?!” These are all questions that will cause them to enter your dreams at night.

#9. You Are Thinking About Working Things Out With Your Ex

You are thinking about getting back together, but it probably isn’t a good idea

Have you ever contemplated trying to work things out with an Ex that you clearly know is not right for you. Even when all of the signs are saying NO, people have tendency to follow their heart, regardless of what your mind is telling you. (Following your heart is another word for making the wrong decision)

If you are thinking about working it out with your ex, don’t be surprised if you have a dream about your ex. Your subconscious mind may send you a warning dream about your ex or you might have a wish fulfillment dream. If you do get back with your ex, be prepared for the same roller coaster ride that you left.

#10 .You Decided To Take a Walk Down Memory Lane

Stop thinking about the past!

Often our subconscious mind will dream about things that are completely bizarre and unrelated to any events in our life. Your mind can bring back old memories from periods in your life when things were easier and less stressful.

If you REALLY loved someone in your past, that person can leaving an imprint in your mind that is difficult to go away. All of those memories that you had with your loved one, are going to be ingrained in your sub conscious mind. Sometimes our subconscious will show us parts of our past, which may include an ex boyfriend or girlfriend.

#11. You Saw A Photo Of Your Ex on Facebook

Your ex just popped up on your Facebook feed.

It always comes down to Facebook. Social media is great for keeping in contact with our friends and family, but that is often a double edged sword. Given the amount of cross friends you will have on Facebook, breaking up with someone often means you will still see your ex when they are tagged in pictures with your friends.

Even if you have permanently deleted your ex on Facebook (you probably should), you are still likely to see that person tagged in photos with common friends. The moment you see their picture on Facebook you will immediately start thinking about them and have some of your old memories come back to you.

How to Stop Dreaming About An Ex

#1. Remove Your Ex From Social Media, including Facebook

The longer you keep your ex on your Facebook feed, the more you will see new pictures of them. This will only reinforce the old memories that you had together. If you want to stop dreaming about your ex you need to get rid of them on your social media. (If you have no feelings and don’t dream about your ex, then by all means keep them as friends.)

#2. Accept That You Were Not Meant To Be Together

The worst thing you can ever do after you break up with someone is hold on to hope that you will get back together. It is important to accept that the relationship is over and you need to move on. Holding on to old hope and feelings can play havoc with your sub conscious mind. When you learn to accept your past and move on to the future, you will start to see things from a different perspective.

#3. Give it some Time

The old saying that time heals all is not true, but it does help us forget some of our past. The longer you spend out of a relationship, the less you will think about that person. If you are dreaming about an ex, date a few more people and eventually that person will stop appearing in your dreams.

#4. Brush It Off (Don’t Dwell on It)

The worst thing you can do if you have a dream about an ex boyfriend or girlfriend is to get caught up in the dream. The best way to stop dreaming about an ex is to accept the dream and move on. Don’t wake up and dwell on your dream for a long time.

If you focus too much on your dream it can cause recurring dreams about your ex. This will then cause a lot of heartache as you wonder what you should do. Remember that dreaming about an ex is an extremely common dream. Everyone who has been in a serious relationship, will dream about that person at some point in their life.

Need more help? Click here to read our guide on interpreting dreams about an ex (boyfriend,girlfriend,lover)

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About Author

Laura is a contributor to Dream Stop. She is someone who has a sense of humors and likes to share that humor with her readers. She loves trying to find the hidden meanings in dreams, no matter how complex or simple they are. In her spare time she enjoys doing yoga and meditation.

61 Comments

  1. Whoever wrote this article is completely UNAWARE of what’s going on in this life and knows NOTHING…absolutely NOTHING about dreams.
    Keep posting nonsense just to make money.

  2. I've moved on in life on

    I had a dream this morning it was weird, in my dream my ex girl who i broke up with and lost contact since two years ago, came over too my house too pick me up, i was in shock and she also told me she was sleeping around with random dudes. I don’t know what too make of it im married now, and i have everything i ever wanted in life im happy .

  3. i had a dream last night that my ex called to see how i was doing and how things were going in my relationship. My boyfriend now walked in and asked, who i was talking to and I said, the kids father. He blew up and yelled at me said, it was over. He stormed out threw a rock at the door window and broke it. I tried to explain to him what my ex was asking and he did not want to hear what I had to say. I burst in to tears and woke up.

  4. i keep dreaming about my ex but i am happily married, this guy did not love me back. he had a lot of girlfriends ts’y i ended things with him. what to do to stop him from appearing in my drims……

    • I had a dream that i was rich and my baby daddy came to my church to apologize to me and he want to be in our life
      And seeing him i cried and i hate him more for missing alot in our sons life.

  5. I had a dream about my ex this morning, I don’t think about him. I have seen pictures of him several months ago. His name is K.V and I am P. I just hope him and his family is well . I would contact him but i do not want to mess his current marriage. So I will just leave it alone. Hope all is well K.V

  6. I dreamtj abt my ex ( 7yrs ago relationship). Her current gf had an abortion, because she cant be pregnant because of her religion. Then my ex showed up, saying despite of his situation he’s begging me to accept him back. And I was actually in the church at his childs funeral. Idont know. I really dont understand.

  7. I keep dreaming of my ex.. we were together for more than 6 years.. and he left me when i was in my 30s and married another girl 3 months later on my birthday.. i keep thinking of how people change after they have separated and all those talks of “i don’t want to hurt you” goes down the drain..

  8. I keep thinking then dreaming about my ex.. I thought I was stronger than this I never wanted to break up but just remembering hearing him tell me “I’ve lost interest in you but I still care about you” hurts because I love him with all my heart he’s the 1st man I let into my life. Its weird sometimes I think I’m living a nightmare . Sometimes I want to reach out just hear his voice then I am like “No! You are not needy and a stalker”. Well, I am trying to move on to find a better man I will settle down with. I just feel like I didn’t get closure with the break up like it was meaningless.. anyways life goes on..

    • aw girl i feel you im in the same situation please get better idk what to say im sorry but i feel you 🙁 much love. One day you will find a man that is even better than the one you had till now and you will love him more.

    • Not to worry you will find someone who will appreciate what you have to offer. It just wasn’t ment to be. Don’t dwell on it and try to move on by doing lots fun things. If you can’t do that read pretty of books anything to get your mind of him. Good luck

  9. Kylie Lamantia on

    My ex was extremely abusive towards me. But the first few months of our relationship was actually amazing. We were best friends. He just changed. Then he started doing bad stuff and I would always get panic attacks and cry because I worried. He called me names. We fought every day. He’s literally the biggest douche now and I strongly dislike him. I attempted suicide because of him. I always think about him and we broke up months ago. I don’t like him yet he keeps showing up in my dreams. Last night I had a dream where we all went back to school. (Im a freshman) and he had been super depressed because he lost all his friends. He got really chubby and grew his hair super long and never really spoke. Well one day in class he came in and through stuff at me. I wanted to talk to him. When I grabbed his shoulder to turn him around he was crying. He hugged me and said “can you just forgive me already?” Even though he doesn’t deserve forgiveness should I message him and apologize and see if I can get any closure? (we both sorta despise each other that’s why I’m concerned.)

  10. Calidreaming510 on

    I still dream about my ex/baby mother but I dream about her almost everyday even when I don’t even think or talk to her the whole day .. it’s like I relived everything that happened between her and I but everything just happens quicker in my dream ..after everything happened and I’m just wondering around trying to find her so I can see my son

  11. Im always dreaming of my ex husband that he always saying that he loves me, he also made a big mistake of leaving me. He said he missed me. And were both crying. I know i still have thay hope to be together again. Because i know my feelings for him is still there. And especially when we see each other and talked with each other. We have child. Sometimes his attitudes confuses me , sometimes by just looking and talking to me i can say he still also have feelings for me. But i dont like to get disapppointed because i know its impossible. Only the dream. It shows how he still love me. Hes crying there and saying how much he love me. And still loving. Im really confuse.

  12. I dreamed my ex fiancee
    And yes I do have all the signs is there still do love him I do stalk him and he’s been contacted me and trying he’s best for the between of us to be together
    But I’m in new relationship which is my new nd is looking better than my ex the attitude how he treated me is completely different from my ex
    But because that ex is meant the world to me and my ex was the one whoninlove that much is kinda hard to forgot him
    But I try.my best to control my heart my emotions for my ex because I know I will hurt.my new bf if I do go back with ex as well I’m scared already that he might broke up my heart again
    As well he is very inconsistent like a shinking ship

  13. I dreamt of an ex, broke up nearly 10 years ago, kept in contact for years after that and I shut him out about 4 years ago on good terms. I dreamt he was surrounded by children, nieces and nephews, no children of his own and I gave him a hug. His life didn’t look too good or happy and then that part of my dream ended.

    I randomly said hello on Facebook because I felt he needed a pick me up….. Turns out he did. He’s still living at home, has health problems so he’s reliant on government benefits and has little goals or aspirations. Has dated 2 women since me, the last ending with her coming out as being gay.

  14. I have recently been dreaming of my ex husband and its frustrating me because I really don’t want to. That whole ending was such a traumatic event that it beggars belief my dreams even go there.

    Some of them are evident that I never got the closure I needed, but I long ago reconciled I was never going to get it from him. I also have accepted I still have very powerful feelings for this person still, but I am fully aware they don’t and we will never be together.

    I just want the dreams to stop. Its cruel to wake up crying because they gave you a hug in a dream when you haven’t even so much as looked at a picture of them on social media or spoke to them in 5 years.

    • Alone in my dream on

      I totally understand you I had the same dream but she is married while we were together and that is why I am not with her I knew she would never get divorce and I broke the relationship.Now it hunts me in my dreams. I’m happily married with a son I moved on but the dream keep calling her,I hate that!

    • Alone in my dream on

      I totally understand you I had the same dream but she was married while we were together and that is why I am not with her I knew she would never get divorce so I broke the relationship and I moved on.Now it hunts me in my dreams. I’m happily married I moved on but my dreams keep calling her,I hate that!

  15. I have dreaming about my ex husband several times lately.. and its all the same situation.. his sad and lonely.. and he wants to talk to me .. he always say that he is tired in his new wife .. and want me to comfort him.. like a child looking for some1 who can understand and accept him .. we have 2 children and been separated for 9yrs.. we don’t even talk to each other for years.. I am wondering what was my dream about.. please give me meaning about this matter..

  16. I had a dream about this guy that I was dating back in my sophomore year of high school (he was a senior). I was really foolish and naive back then. I let him in easily before he broke up with me a month later. After the break up, I found out he had been with another girl. He cheated on me before dumping me. I got depressed about it for a while, but it’s been well over 2 or 3 years now and I’m over him. But he still pops back into my mind from time to time and I very recently had a dream about him. He and I made out a lot in our relationship, so it was not a surprise to dream of us making out. This article explains a lot, though. I guess I’m just not fully over him.

    • Hello. I don’t think You had any real closure. Did you talk to him about cheating? Did you let him know how bad he hurt you?

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