Have you ever had your ex suddenly appear in a dream, while you were in a happy and committed relationship? Whether you are single or in a relationship, an ex can make their way back into your dreams whether you want to see them or not.
Dreams about an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend can be extremely emotional. All those feelings that you once had for that person can come flooding right back into your life from out of nowhere. In the matter of a night’s sleep, your mind can become completely consumed by someone you thought was out of your life.
Related Dream: Dreaming about an Ex-Lover
Have you ever wondered why an ex-lover might show up in your dream? Here are 11 reasons why your ex might start appearing in your dreams.
#1. You Still Have Feelings for Your Ex
Let’s get the obvious answer out of the way. The most common reason why people dream about an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/lover/husband/wife is that they still have feelings for that person. Whether or not you are the one who ended the relationship is irrelevant, you can still have feelings for someone after being separated for a while.
If you still think about your ex from time to time, this is just inviting your ex to show up in your dreams. Just because you have feelings for your ex, doesn’t mean that you guys are still supposed to be together. Put yourself back in your state of mind when you broke up, and you will probably realize why you are not together right now.
#2. You Never Received Closure In Your Relationship
Getting dumped sucks. Not only does it leave you feeling used, but it also leaves a hole in the middle of your heart. A lack of closure in a relationship can often leave you thinking, “what if things would have worked out different….”
Lack of closure can lead to an ex being stuck in your mind, making it difficult to move on. Whether it is six months or 10 years later, the emotions you experience are all the same. When we have those unanswered questions in our minds, sometimes our subconscious mind will try and find closure inside of a dream.
#3. You Are Fighting A lot With Your Current Partner
Do you remember the time when things were a lot easier? Your old boyfriend never used to piss you off as the current one does? Fighting a lot with a current lover will cause you to think about how great your ex-was. Being angry at someone is a great excuse to start thinking about how great your life used to be with your ex.
The grass is always greener on the other side, especially when you are past the honeymoon phase of a relationship. While you might think about your ex when you fight, you will snap out of it when you start cooling off and realize how bad your ex was.
#4. You Have Been Stalking Your Ex On Social Media
If your ex shows up on your Facebook feed, there is always the temptation to click on their profile and see what they are up to. The temptation to stalk an ex is always present, especially if we had feelings for that person. You might be wondering if they were better off with you or without you.
Does your ex look better now? Do they appear like an upgraded version of themselves or have they let everything go. If they look like a 2.0 version of themselves, don’t be surprised if they make their way into your dreams and try to torment you.
#5. You May Feel Unsatisfied In Your Current Relationship/Love Situation
If you are currently single or feel unsatisfied in your current relationship, your subconscious mind will be looking to fill the loneliness with someone or something that gave you comfort in the past. Even if you would never go back to your ex, it won’t stop your subconscious of cooking up dream scenarios that you cause you to panic when you awake.
Whenever we are unhappy in our life, sometimes our subconscious mind will show us a time when things were easier. This dream might be telling you that you need to start making some positive changes in your life that will make you happier and more fulfilled.
#6. You Miss That Particular Time In Your Life
As we get older and grow more mature, we will find that life starts to catch up to us. When you are young, everything seems so carefree and relaxed. You only really appreciate the freedom you have once it is taken away from you.
After you start to enter the workforce and get a career, everything will start to slow down. You will no longer be able to do the things that you want to do because you will have a family and career to think about. Even though you might be with the perfect partner who is loving and supportive, you may still miss that stress-free period of your life. Sometimes life just happens…
7. You Miss Characteristics that Your Ex Had
Even though you have moved on from your ex, there may be specific traits that your ex possessed that you have never been able to replace. Nobody is perfect. While the idea that the ideal man and woman exist, the reality is everyone has specific traits that their partner will love and some that they will not like.
Your ex may have been extremely sensitive and emotional, something that your current partner doesn’t have. Your subconscious may be telling you that there are specific characteristics that you are missing in your life.
#8. Your Ex Recently Contacted You (Or At Least Tried To)
You may be in a perfectly happy relationship with the love of your life and suddenly, out of the blue, your ex contacts you. “Hey _____, I wanted to know how you are doing…I miss you.”
Why did your ex contact you? Probably because they are single right now (or unhappy themselves) and are looking to stir up the pot in other relationships.
An ex who contacts you out of the blue, is likely going to show up in your dreams because your mind will be racing with a million questions like, “Does this person still like me? Why are they contacting me? I don’t love him anymore?!” These are all issues that will cause them to enter your dreams at night.
#9. You Are Thinking About Working Things Out With Your Ex
Have you ever contemplated trying to work things out with an ex that you know is not right for you? Even when all of the signs are saying NO, people tend to follow their hearts, regardless of what your mind is telling you. (Following your heart is another word for making the wrong decision)
If you are thinking about working it out with your ex, don’t be surprised if you have a dream about your ex. Your subconscious mind may send you a warning dream about your ex, or you might have a wish-fulfillment dream. If you do get back with your ex, be prepared for the same roller coaster ride that you left.
#10. You Decided To Take a Walk Down Memory Lane
Often our subconscious mind will dream about things that are completely bizarre and unrelated to any events in our life. Your mind can bring back old memories from periods in your life when things were easier and less stressful.
If you REALLY loved someone in your past, that person can leave an imprint in your mind that’s hard to go away. All of those memories that you had with your loved one are going to be ingrained in your subconscious mind. Sometimes our subconscious will show us parts of our past, which may include an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend.
#11. You Saw A Photo Of Your Ex on Facebook
It always comes down to Facebook. Social media is great for keeping in contact with our friends and family, but that is often a double-edged sword. Given the number of related friends you will have on Facebook, breaking up with someone often means you will still see your ex when they are tagged in pictures with your friends.
Even if you have permanently deleted your ex on Facebook (you probably should), you are still likely to see that person tagged in photos with familiar friends. The moment you see their picture on Facebook, you will immediately start thinking about them and have some of your old memories come back to you.
How to Stop Dreaming About An Ex
#1. Remove Your Ex From Social Media, including Facebook and Instagram
The longer you keep your ex on your Facebook feed, the more you will see new pictures of them. This will only reinforce the old memories that you had together. If you want to stop dreaming about your ex you need to get rid of them on your social media. (If you have no feelings and don’t dream about your ex, then, by all means, keep them as friends.)
#2. Accept That You Were Not Meant To Be Together
The worst thing you can ever do after you break up with someone is holding on to hope that you will get back together. It is important to accept that the relationship is over and you need to move on. Holding on to old hope and feelings can play havoc with your subconscious mind. When you learn to accept your past and move on to the future, you will start to see things from a different perspective.
You know to speak it out loud that you and your ex are finished. They might have been special in a moment in your life, but now it is time to move on to new horizons. Your future partner might be waiting around the corner if you finally free yourself from the past.
#3. Give it some Time
The old saying that time heals all is not true, but it does help us forget some of our past. The longer you spend out of a relationship, the less you will think about that person. If you are dreaming about an ex, date a few more people, and eventually, that person will stop appearing in your dreams.
No matter how hard you try to move on, sometimes the only thing you can do is to give it enough time. While the wounds might still feel fresh after a few weeks or months, eventually you will start to move on with your life.
#4. Brush It Off (Don’t Dwell on It)
The worst thing you can do if you have a dream about an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend is to get caught up in the dream. The best way to stop dreaming about an ex is to accept the dream and move on. Don’t wake up and dwell on your dream for a long time.
If you focus too much on your dream it can cause recurring dreams about your ex. This will then cause a lot of heartaches as you wonder what you should do. Remember that dreaming about an ex is a highly common dream. Everyone who has been in a serious relationship will dream about that person at some point in their life.
You Are Someone That WILL FIND LOVE
At the end of the day, you will find someone who is meant to be with you. You need to do everything you can do to make yourself the best version of you, in order to attract someone who is equal to you. Set your standards high and remember that you WILL find someone eventually, so never give up on love.